When I get old
In each of my children's homes I shall reside
I will bring in my bags and plop them down
The kids will move them aside.

I will go straight to the refrigerator
Hold the door open for a few
Exclaim,  "There's nothing to eat!"
Then twist off the cap and drink from the Mountain Dew.

When feeling thirsty, I'll go to the freezer
Empty the trays of ice
Then put the empty trays back
Even though I know it's not nice.

After they go to the store
I'll wait till they fall asleep
Then I'll invite all of my friends
To come in and have a feast.

Their forks, blankets, and towels
Will gradually disappear.
When they want to wrap a gift
The tape and scissors will be nowhere near.

I will borrow all of their things
Why should I buy my own?
They should give me their stuff
Now that I live in their home.

I will sleep until noon
After I party with my friends all night
"What!  You want me to do the dishes?!"
Well that's just not right!

They'll tell me to be home for dinner
Together the family must eat
I'll turn up my nose
"OH Yuck!  I don't like that kind of meat."

I'll make a peanut butter sandwich
And then I'll head on out
"Who left this knife with peanut butter?"
"I don't know.  Wasn't me."  I'll shout.

So I can't wait for the day
When my life will be fulfilled
I will live in the homes of my children
And they will be just thrilled.
-- Laura Vargyas